


The Moon is Down

by Vahlance



Category: Bleach
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, world of the living
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vahlance/pseuds/Vahlance
Summary: After defeating Aizen and losing his powers, re-adjusting to a normal human life is having its challenges. Luckily Ichigo has some pretty great friends that show their love and support in their own special little ways.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Pause the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> A love letter to a series that was never perfect, but means so much.

Ichigo lazily flips his pen over between his fingers. His half lidded eyes watch the pen's shape blur with the movement. The sound of whatever his teacher is saying fades into the background.

He feels the intensity of summer sun filtering through the window to his left, warming his shoulders and neck. He closes his eyes, the dark circles beneath them stand out against his skin.

He thinks of the empty seat near the center of the room and cracks one eye open to look at Rukia’s abandoned spot.

It’s been two months since he saw her for the last time. Two months since Aizen was defeated and the memories of everyone in Karakura were altered so that no civilians remembered the incident. He closes his eye again and lets out a quiet sigh.

The teacher begins writing something on the board. The sound of the chalk squeaks its way into Ichigo’s thoughts and his brow scrunches together even tighter than usual.

He jumps slightly in his seat at the gentle tap of a pencil eraser on his shoulder. He turns his head to glance questioningly at Ishida sitting behind him. Ishida looks at him with an expression knit with concern for a few seconds before ripping off a piece of notebook paper to scribble something across it.

Ichigo turns to face the front of the class, waiting for the teacher to turn around to write something on the board before he reaches his arm back for Ishida to place the slip of paper into his palm.

‘You need to talk, everyone’s only pretending not to notice you’re a mess you know’

Ichigo looks at the neat letters in exasperation and closes his eyes for a second before writing his response below the message. He folds the paper, the teacher glances down at her notes, saying something about parabolas, and Ichigo tosses the note back onto Ishida’s desk.

‘I’m fine, just tired’

A second later Ichigo feels the soft bounce of the note crumpled into a ball and thrown at the back of his head.

He whirls around in his chair with a grimace to see Ishida, wearing an equally annoyed expression, pushing up his glasses with his middle finger.

Ichigo breathes in and stands abruptly, his chair squeaks against the tile floor interrupting the class. He reaches for his bag, throws it over his shoulder and ignores the entire room staring at him in stunned silence.

  
“Mr Kurosaki-!” His teacher exclaims as he glides past her and exits the classroom, slamming the door behind him.

Ichigo walks down the street, hands in his pockets and head down. He ignores the questioning looks from adults who notice the orange haired boy, dressed in a school uniform, walking around during the middle of a weekday.

He tries not to think about his outburst or the consequences he’s bound to face not only from faculty but from his friends as well. For the moment he just wants to be left alone, no teachers rambling on, no one trying to get him to talk. His eyes burn with his frustration.

All he wants is quiet at school and a good night’s rest uninterrupted by nightmares and anxiety.

His frustration grows as he walks. If he goes home, it’ll just be his dad bothering him there. It was already awkward enough knowing his father kept everything about being a shinigami a secret for Ichigo’s whole life.

Plus he couldn’t stand the silent concerned looks his father gave him whenever Ichigo came down the stairs in the morning, a tired mess from the night before. Ichigo has started to worry he might be making noises in his nightmare riddled sleep, loud enough that his father noticed.

Getting a flying kick to the head by the man as a morning greeting would honestly be refreshing to Ichigo at this point.

He turns down an unpopulated looking side street, not fully sure where he’s going.

A gentle wind rustles his hair as he walks. The sun shines on his face and he gratefully closes his eyes, letting some tension fall out of his shoulders.

As he lets himself calm down he begins to feel guilty. He overreacted didn’t he. Ishida was just worried about him and Ichigo went ahead and made a scene.

Ichigo is self aware enough to know he isn’t exactly level headed, but storming out of class without an emergency was a bit much, even for him.

He stops walking and presses his palms into his eyelids while letting out a soft groan. He should probably apologize. He was never good at that. But Ishida was right. Keeping silent about everything he’s lost these past couple months and all the nightmares he’s gained in return hasn’t exactly helped.

He walks for a few minutes more before finding a bench at a local park he knows his sister frequents.

Settling onto the bench, he pulls out his phone, swiping in the pass code and opening Ishida’s contact. Ichigo glances at the old texts they sent to each other a few days ago discussing homework.

He tries typing in various apologies only to delete them each time. His ‘rivalry’ with the quincy doesn’t exactly make it easy to open up to the other boy or feel comfortable showing any weakness. Plus an apology through text just seems cheap.

Eventually he gives up and opens Chad’s contact instead.

‘Can I talk to you man?’

‘Yes. Where did you go?’

Ichigo hadn’t expected such an immediate response, Chad was still in class after all.

‘By the old baseball field, class was pissing me off’

He stares at his phone screen waiting for the little dots to appear to mean Chad’s typing. Instead the “seen” notification pops up by his message while Chad stays silent.

Ichigo turns off his phone screen in defeat and tilts his head to watch the summer clouds float across the afternoon sky.

The calm air only makes Ichigo’s exhaustion more apparent. His sleep had been sprinkled with nightmares once he became a Shinigami and started fighting monsters in his spare time but it had always been manageable.

Now that his powers are gone and Aizen has been defeated it’s almost like his brain is trying to make up for the lack of action by tormenting him with terrors almost every night. He leans back into the bench he’s perched on and closes his eyes.

A few minutes go by in silence. Ichigo begins to feel sick just thinking about the nightmares that have been plaguing him, until he hears the crunch of footsteps approaching on the gravel path behind him.

He keeps his head leaned back and opens his eyes to look upside-down at Chad walking toward him.

Ichigo sits up, startled as Chad rounds the bench to stop in front of him.

“Chad!? Isn’t class still going?”

“Yeah.”

“When I asked to talk I meant after school!”

“This is more important.” Chad replies nonchalantly as he takes the spot next to Ichigo on the bench.

Ichigo pauses as he watches his giant best friend get settled.

“Now we’re both gonna get it from the faculty,” Ichigo says and looks into the distance for a second. He can’t help but feel touched that Chad dropped everything just to talk, even if it’s a bit overkill to leave in the middle of class.

Ichigo looks at his best friend in silence. He never knows how to communicate how touched he is whenever Chad solidifies their friendship so powerfully and yet so casually in their day to day interactions. Neither of the boys are the type to wear their hearts on their sleeves or anything, but Chad’s honesty and loyalty has always meant a lot to Ichigo. They tend to understand each other despite the emotional constipation.

The two sit in silence for a few long minutes, neither one of them particularly good at talking about personal stuff.

Chad breaks the silence eventually.

“We’ve been worried you know…”

“I know.”

Ichigo can’t help but look at his feet as a wave of guilt comes over him. He knows his friends care. He just also has a life's worth of emotional baggage he’s not used to unloading on others. Plus a reputation of being aloof that he doesn’t want to part with for some reason.

“I guess like… my whole life I just wished I could be normal you know? That I wouldn’t have to hide that I was weird and could see spirits if I was just like everyone else.Then it’s like I finally find a way to use my powers to help people and then all of a sudden they’re gone...”

Ichigo pulls his hair back from his forehead, still looking at the ground as he tries to unravel all his mixed up feelings and put them into words.

“...and now I can’t even see one of my best friends until I die or whatever, cause of some stupid soul society rules or some bullshit-”

His words start to flow more quickly as he speaks. The emotions finally being let loose get caught in his throat and behind his eyes, making them burn.

“-and I can’t do anything about it cause I’m powerless and can’t even see ghosts anymore.”

Chad listens in silence and looks at Ichigo with a face that would seem neutral to a stranger, but it’s an expression that his friends recognize as supportive.

Ichigo can feel himself falling apart. He’s glad there’s no one else around because he would probably die on the spot if anyone other than his closest friends or his family saw tears starting to build up around his eyes or hear the way his voice climbed in desperation.

“... and I can’t even fucking sleep cause all I dream about is everyone dying and me hollowfying and killing them.” Ichigo lowers his head to hide his face as the tears and snot start to flow and ruin any of the composure he had left.

He feels a large warm hand reach out to rest on his shaking shoulder as the sobbing wracks his body.

After a few minutes Ichigo can’t stand looking like such a weakling out in the open anymore so he wipes his nose with his wrist and lets out a strangled laugh.

“Hey…”

Ichigo raises his head to see Chad looking at him intensely through his messy hair.

“...we might not be able to fix everything.... but you don’t need to go through it alone. Me, and Orihime, and Ishida….We care about you.”

Chad's grip on Ichigo’s shoulder tightens reassuringly.

“You relied on us when fighting Aizen, rely on us for this too.”

Ichigo can’t help the soft smile that appears on his face or his embarrassed laugh as he turns to look back at the ground.

“....Thanks Chad... I mean it.” Ichigo responds sincerely.

Suddenly Chad’s hand is no longer on his shoulder and instead colliding with Ichigo’s back in what’s supposed to be a reassuring slap that ends up being a bit too forceful. Ichigo almost goes flying off the bench.

He starts to laugh at his giant of a best friend who never quite understands his own strength.

Chad lets a sheepish smile appear on his face as Ichigo wipes at his eyes.

The cheerful outburst dies down and the two sit in companionable silence for a few more seconds before Chad speaks again.

“You should go home and try to sleep.”

Ichigo amps up his blasé attitude, plastering a fake frown on his face and leans his head back to try and hide his embarrassment at their little heart to heart. “Yeaaah, and you should go back to school. No reason for you to get yelled at just cause I threw a temper tantrum,” He says as he fiddles with the hair at the back of his neck.

Chad lets out a low laugh and stands from the bench. All of Ichigo’s friends could see past the punk façade that Ichigo always puts on.

“Text me when you wake up,” Chad commands before turning to leave.

Ichigo watches Chad start his return trip to school, then lets out another sigh.

Ichigo finally gives in and heads home, sneaking in through the side door as quietly as possible, hoping that his father in the attached clinic doesn’t notice. He pads up the stairs sluggishly to his room where he throws his bag into the corner, then takes off his uniform jacket; bunching it into a ball before throwing it on the floor.

He plops onto his bed face down and lets out a soft groan.


	2. Clear the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares

“Ichig-” Orihime’s plea gets cut off by a white clawed hand around her throat.

The instinct to kill pounds in his mind. He tries to think. Why can’t he think? He feels her warm blood stain his fingers where the claws dig into her neck.

“Let her go!” Rukia’s voice yells desperately from behind him.

He feels the heat of reishi blast against his back. His long hair flies into his face from the force. Long hair? Nothing seems right, but he can’t think, can’t remember. Needs to fight.

A cero builds in his free hand.

Rukia swings her sword at his shoulder. It’s stopped by the white armor covering his flesh, her blade cracks without leaving a scratch on him.

He grabs her face. She tries to pry his fingers from their grasp on her skull. The red light of his cero singes the edges of her hair before he releases the blast point blank.

Ichigo wakes up in his bed with a yell.

His hair sticks to his face with sweat and he gasps to breathe. He sits up to look at his shaking hand. The one that had blasted Rukia in his dream. Bile rises into his throat and he feels his stomach churn.

He brings his knees up to his chest. It makes it harder to catch his breath but he needs to become as small as possible.

It was one of his worse types of nightmares. One where he’s out of control. Where he can’t think and destroys everyone around him, only realizing what he’s doing when it’s too late.

It was all too real. The muscles of Orihime’s throat choking to breathe, the heat of his own cero pressing into Rukia, the scent of her flesh burning from the building blast.

He rushes to the bathroom as the taste of bile enters his mouth.

The next morning Ichigo walks into class looking like death. Either he just hadn’t bothered to button up his uniform shirt over his band tee or he straight up forgot. His hair is more unkempt than usual with obvious bed-head, flattened on one side and spiked on the other. His homeroom teacher had already pulled him aside for his day-after-tantrum discipline, but had gone easy seeing the deep dark circles framing his eyes and the worse than usual slump in his shoulders.

Ishida’s eyes narrow as Ichigo walks in but he says nothing and lowers his gaze back to the book he’s holding.

Orihime had been planning to ask if Ichigo was feeling better after yesterday, but seeing the way he shuffles to his seat, she already knows the answer.

Chad walks into the classroom soon after. Stopping at Orihime’s desk, both stare at Ichigo’s sad form before sharing a look of concern.

Ichigo doesn’t acknowledge anyone before he plops into his seat, crosses his arms on his desk and buries his face in them.

Tatsuki leans over from her seat next to Orihime.

“Woah, someone's having a shit morning...”

Chad hums a tone of concern in response.

Orihime however, puffs out her chest and pumps her arms as if to fill herself with determination. She reaches into her bag then pulls out a chocolate bar, some paper and a marker. She pops off the marker cap with her mouth.

Chad and Tatsuki watch with raised brows as Orihime scribbles intently across the paper, folds it around the candy bar, then tip toes over towards Ichigo’s seat. She slides the gift into Ichigo’s bag, and smiles down at his slumped over figure. His shoulders rise and fall gently with his breathing, unaware of the surprise that Orihime just left him.

The girl tiptoes back to her seat, confident that her gift will lighten Ichigo’s mood when he finds it, if only a little.

Ishida lets out a huff at the caring display.

By the time lunch comes around, Ichigo is lagging pretty badly. It takes a nudge from Mizuiro after their language arts class ends to get Ichigo to stop drooling against his palm and wake up enough to realize class is over.

He shuffles up to his usual eating spot on the roof and plops down across from Orihime and Tatsuki who seem to be discussing Orihime’s latest food invention/catastrophe. Tatsuki watches with wide-eyed horror and concern for her best friend’s well being as Orihime happily bites into what looks like octopus tentacles sandwiched between two uncooked blocks of instant ramen. Even Chad, seated to Ichigo’s left, looks a little nauseous at the sight of it.

Keigo and Mizuiro are in their normal spots next to the two girls, horsing around as usual. Kiego has Mizuiro in a loose headlock as he very energetically argues that Orihime’s eating habits are endearing and not “kind of gross” as Mizuiro had suggested.

The girl in question simply hums and continues to enjoy her meal, seemingly oblivious to everyone’s concern over her lunch.

Ichigo can’t help but feel reassured, and maybe even a little enlivened by his friends; energetic and chaotic as usual. He bites into his lunch, karashi mentaiko onigiri that Yuzu had made specially for him the night before. He chews lazily as he and Chad watch Tatsuki begin beating on Keigo for a rogue comment about Orihime’s body as the boy yells out for Ichigo’s salvation.

Normally Ichigo would throw in a monotone comment that Keigo deserves it, but he doesn’t have the energy. Instead he just continues to silently chew and watch the live entertainment as his friend gets what's coming to him.

After a few minutes Chad nudges Ichigo with his elbow and nods towards Ishida’s empty spot in their lunch circle.

Ichigo’s pout comes back full-force. The space to his right, which is normally filled by Uryu, stands empty. The jerk is making a point to avoid him after Ichigo’s outburst the day before.

He lets out a frustrated groan and scans the other groups of students eating lunch along the roof of the school. He spots Ishida standing stoically in the corner on the opposite side of the space, staring off into the horizon as he eats rice.

The drama of it all makes Ichigo squint.

Ichigo swallows the last of his lunch and heaves himself up.

“Ichigo-?” Keigo asks dumbly, now laying belly down on the ground, with Tatsuki sitting firmly on his back to keep the hormonal boy in check. The group’s eyes follow Ichigo as he strolls towards Ishida.

Ichigo plasters his iconic frown onto his face, his half lidded tired eyes only adding to the annoyed looked. He stops next to Ishida, glaring down his frenemy who makes a point to not acknowledge Ichigo’s presence.

After glaring down Ishida for a good minute Ichigo sighs and lets some of the punk attitude flow out of him.

“Sorry I was an emotionally constipated jerk yesterday, alright?” Ichigo says reaching into his pocket, then tossing a small item that Ishida catches without turning his head.

Ichigo turns around and walks back to the group as Ishida opens his hand to look at the item. A new set of embroidery needles that Ishida didn’t already own. The pure thoughtfulness of the gift was nothing less than annoying.

By the time Ichigo settles back into place with the group, Ishida is already walking over to take his own spot, silently and with a scowl to match Ichigo’s.

Orihime welcomes them both back with a grin, as Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Keigo, and the now added Chizuru continue their daily bickering through the rest of lunch.

As the final bell rings to signal the school days end, Ichigo sluggishly begins to pack his bag. He unzips the side pocket to find a folded paper with a chocolate bar hidden inside. He curiously takes it out and unfolds the note.

Inside is a message written in magenta marker with two drawings in the margin, on the left is a doodle of Ichigo’s frowny face, on the right is a sketch of Orihime’s sunshine smile. In between the two is a message written in Orihime’s elegant looking but difficult to read handwriting.

I know you secretly love chocolate Kurosaki-kun so I hope this brightens your day, even if just a little. Feel better!!!  
-<3 Inoue-chan

What did he do to deserve such supportive friends? God he needs to stop being such a mope and return the favor sometime.

Ichigo walks home, a few steps behind Keigo and Mizuiro as they discuss recent celebrity scandals. He savors the chocolate bar piece by piece and lets his frown soften listening to his two friend’s exchanges over the top conspiracy theories about famous pop singers. He’ll have to thank Orihime tomorrow.


End file.
